I live the life of an 80 year-old woman. Frequently for work I'm up at 4 am--which I could justify for rowing but not regularly for toil--which means that I'm WIPED by about 7 pm. Right when most people are getting off work and starting their night, I'm getting ready for bed. ROCK. STAR. For instance, I just had a fun "night" out with Grace, rummaging around Georgetown and window shopping at Lush and Barnes & Noble, but by 6 I was ready to G-O. If I make it to 9 tonight, it'll be a banner evening.
My ho-larious story for today is this: There's a Liberty Tax office close to my house that has decided a good gimmick this tax season is to have a guy dress as the Statue of Liberty, stand in the median on Washington Blvd. and, I guess, attract clients. The poor little guy is pretty pointless and pathetic most days, but today....oy. The wind was gusting 30, 40 mph and he was
blowing all over the place. The foam of his outfit was lifting away exposing his body, and he couldn't hold up his torch. It was all he could do to stand up straight. I almost peed my pants when I saw him. You would have too. Don't judge.
Frreeeeeaak
I couldn't resist the opportunity to preserve, for posterity and the Internets, the effects of the dilation drops administered at the doctor this morning. Taking this picture was not a little painful (think big, BRIGHT flash)...so you guys better appreciate this.
Hell yes I'm sleeping with it on my pillow
Say hello to SuperChiclet, my new Dell Inspiron 6000 notebook. I am so goddamn in love with this thing that I think I may post a wedding announcement for us in the Washington Post. I have already downloaded ITunes and am currently jamming to radioiocountry and plotting how to transfer all my old desktop's files over to this wee puppy. Don't say that I don't live a full and satisfying life. That would just be the jealousy talking.
In other news, just to give yous a laugh, I have been stumbling through life for the last few days looking something like
this. I have a consultation for LASIK tomorrow which requires one to wear one's THICK-ASS BOY-REPELLING negative-12-in-both-eyes glasses for 3 days prior. I've been hiding in my house because me avec glasses is too hideous to unleash on an unsuspecting world. The joy I will feel upon waking up Friday and putting in my contacts as usual...she shall know no bounds. And no, this eyewear revolution will not be televised, so don't ask.
This old grey mare she ain't what she used to be...I had a full night out last night for the first time in months. Upon learning that Susie would be
singing at the
Naval Academy, I corralled Suzi, Tom, Z, Clarence and Jonathan (who also just happened to be celebrating his 29th birthday) into accompanying me to Annapolis. We made a whole night of it--dinner at the
Rams Head Tavern, then the show, then drinks at
Acme Bar & Grill for the birthday boy(s as it turned out--today is Z's 31st). We didn't leave Maryland until after 1 am, and then, plagued with munchies, stopped into Ben's Chili Bowl for 2 am dogs and fries. It was a
great night, and that's a sober assessment. I had a couple beers through the evening, but I was driving and so never lost my edge (insert whip noise here). HOWEVER, despite never being even remotely buzzed, I *still* woke up "hung over" this morning. I had a headache and felt out of sorts until I got some Advil and water down my gullet and lazed inert in front of the Sunday political shows for a while. Being out in the smoke and the din, not getting enough sleep...it isn't all it's cracked up to be. I am definitely at the point where home and chill beats out and rowdy and the time I lose recovering from an outing is easily double or triple the actual time spent cavorting--and the resultant productivity loss cripples me with guilt. Today would have been a great day for a run for instance, but the most I could manage was laundry and cleaning and waiting for the playoffs to start.
Sigh...oh well. At least this will make life cheaper. Which is exactly what an old person would say. God help me.
We'll be rocking the hair, too
Over Christmas my dear friend
Susie got engaged to the wonderful Jerry. Then last night during a girls night celebration for said event she asked me and Pam to be bridesmaids. I'm pretty jazzed at the prospect (I haven't done it often enough to have maxed out--I know many who are *over* it) and am pretty sure we can count on Sus to keep the dress ideas tasteful, reusable, and cheap. Not unlike what's pictured above.
Is it wrong that, the whole time I was watching
Brokeback Mountain, and really, I was paying attention to the story and was moved and interested and invested in the plot, I was continuously thinking
JAKE GYLLENHAAL IS SO MOTHERFUCKING HOT I DON'T REMEMBER MY OWN NAME.
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all their hopes and dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
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