Friday, February 25, 2005

Real life is not like "ER". Thank sweet almighty Christ.

You are now reading the blog of someone fully certified to shock the ever-loving shit out of you. Literally. I just finished CPR/AED training and can get my defib on for a full 2 years. WAX. It actually was a good, succinct course that taught me some things I didn't know about administering emergency assistance, and refreshed my memory on the (many) previous CPR courses I've taken. It's all common sense stuff (for instance, don't use an AED on someone who is wet and/or lying in a puddle of water. You'd think this sort of thing needn't be reiterated, but we all know someone who is dumb as rocks and proves the necessity) but having it repeated and practicing it never hurts. I was the only female in the class, and I got the impression that that kept the instructor from being as "good old boy" with everyone as he wanted. Not in a lewd way, but just a more "Guys, you know how WE do it" sort of vibe. He apologized to me before explaining that, to use an AED on a woman, you need to fully expose her torso to the skin (duh) and that, in such an instance, everyone will see "her goodies." Yes, "goodies." Um, we're not 5. It's so a non-issue unless you make it one, dude. He also used an example at one point of getting the wind knocked out of you, "like we guys used to do to each other in middle school." What a fabulous way to bond, and a touching bit of nostalgia. Ah, the good old days when boys were boys and knocked the crap out of each other to say, "Yo, I care." Idiots. But I digress...

The bottom line is, I can save your life. So be nice to me. OR ELSE.


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