Sunday, February 05, 2006

The narrow window of complain

I subscribe to the Washington Post print edition, Sundays only. Last weekend my paper failed to arrive. I knew it was a lack-of-delivery as opposed to a greedy-bastard-neighbor-thieving because I didn't get my Saturday insert with all the lovely coupons and my cherished crossword either. So, no paper when I go to work at 5:30 IN THE MORNING or at 2 when I get home. I hop online and attempt to report the undelivered goods at the Post's website. Huh. Turns out one must report a late Sunday paper no later than 10 am. OK. Considering that most papers are delivered by 3 or 4 am, I guess this is reasonable (it isn't, but I'm building up here, can you tell?).

Fast forward to this weekend: I have a plan. I suspect that I again will not get my paper, but since I don't have to be to work until 10 this morning, I have time to check! And report before the deadline!! Lo and behold I'm up, it's about 7:30, and no paper. No insert yesterday either. I fire up the Super Chiclet and begin to file the necessary missing persons paperwork when I get this message: "The Post's guaranteed delivery deadline has not yet passed for this morning, so you may still get your paper on time. If you still have not received your paper by the delivery deadline (6:30am Monday-Saturday, 8:00am Sunday and Holidays), you may report a missing paper." That, my friends, is one narrow-ass window of opportunity. Many people aren't up by 10 on Sundays. Or if they are up, they aren't functioning well after Saturday night. Or they're up and gone and don't get back in time to meet that crucial deadline. But I think the wiley Post people planned it that way, don't you?

Needless to say, I'm sitting here hovering over the keyboard biding my time until 8:00:00 EST (-5 GMT) when I will announce my paperless presence with authority. Don't get between me and my crossword you Post lackeys.


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