Tuesday, April 27, 2004

What an EFFING HAG

There are few things that frustrate me more than running into someone who is an unmitigated ass. By that I mean someone who is determined to be ugly to others--perpetually angry and spiteful, expending WAY too much energy in the paranoid wait to be screwed over. And then taking way too much pleasure in "defending" themselves against the perceived slight. One of these charming creatures lives in the luxury townhouses adjacent to the boathouse where I row.

The public parking lot next to the boathouse and the townhouses is relatively small and fills up quickly on a busy morning (fills w/ rowers that is, around 5 am). It's easy to find yourself parking several blocks away, which is a pain b/c on rowing mornings time is always of the essence. Anyway, upon occasion when running particularly late, I--like MANY others in the club--have sort of snuck into a space that isn't really a space. By doing this we do not block 1)other parking spaces 2)anyone's driveway or sidewalk 3)anyone's mailbox 4)anyone's doorway or any other sort of foot or vehicle traffic or access. Plus, we're gone by 7 am so literally besides other rowers, this is an issue to NO ONE.

So this morning I avail myself of the Secret Space. Almost as soon as I'm out of the car I hear "Excuse me! YOU CAN'T PARK THERE." I can hear the shrew, but I can't see her, because like most snotty cowards she's hiding in her house just back from the window IN THE DARK. After vaguely identifying the geographic source of the whine I answered that I understood it wasn't a true space but that I'd be on my way in a mere hour or so. In reply? This:

"WELL IT'S NOT A SPOT AND YOU WAKE ME UP AND SO I'M GOING TO EXERCISE MY RIGHT TO CALL THE POLICE. YOU BETTER MOVE THAT CAR!"

So basically she is cheesed off at the general incursion of the boathouse and us rowers on her space (PS, maybe you should have thought of that before you bought the one property in the complex that sits on both our road for boat access AND a public parking lot. Just a suggestion). It's nonsense too b/c when we are plodding down to the dock at 5, there's barely enough energy in us to BE THERE let alone make noise or cause trouble. There is seriously never so much as a "hello" called across the parking lot--we're too tired and too rushed for it. Whatever, I move the car--calling out a "And you have a lovely morning too" as scathingly as possible--and as I walk back to the boathouse who should pull up but an Alexandria PD cruiser. Which means that she had already called the police before I pulled in. There's no other way dude could have gotten there so fast (this whole thing took about 3 min., tops, so you see what I mean). She was preemptively prepared to drop a massive hammer on whoever dare stray into her domain. This old biddy had worked herself up into a lather over a whole lotta nothin'. She must be chief of her sect of Clan Dillhole.

Why can't people like that harness their energy for the forces of good?? Or at least the forces of "I'm just gonna sit on my couch and chill"??! Why they got ta hate??

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