BlogSport

Put down thy cell phone, wench

Bet you can't guess who said that little gem on Saturday? Wha? ME?! Well, yes. But she was all in costume and she was supposed to be working at the pub but she dashed away to answer a call and I was all, "Oh HELL NO. I want full-on period play for my $17, woman! There'll be no anachronisms here!"

So, I attended my first Renaissance Faire (DON'T FORGET THE "E") in Maryland on Saturday. I went in expecting a pretty healthy dose of hilarity, and in some ways wasn't disappointed. There are many people in costumes, speaking Ye Aulde Englyshe, and hocking wares only a bard could love. The thing that astonished me was how so many people used the guise of the Faire to indulge themselves in some serious goth and S&M interplay. So many of the women, especially, were trussed up in corsets, shoving whatever flesh was above their waists up around their chins. MANY more were wearing black, and dark make-up, and not a few were wearing faux tails (fox, horse, etc.) sewn on the backs of their costumes. Um, did I miss the history class that talked about Ye Aulde Furry Fetishes? The younger adherents, especially, gave off the distinct air that when the sun sets, they get renaissance freaky deaky. But, by the same token in many ways that is no different than people who congregate at raves or clubs--it's just folks of similar interests all gathering to indulge in whatever their hobbies are. It's just that some require less obvious costuming than others.

I ate steak on a stake (eh), Italian sausage (phallic? not to be believed), drank mead (tasted like cough syrup--blech), and downed a couple very cheap ($3/each) yummy lagers. We also saw a sword-swallower, jousting, and a comedy duo named Puke and Snot. Susie took pictures which I hope to link to shortly. And I will totally confess to you here that I wanted to buy one of those flowered garlands to wear on my head, but alas, no. Maybe next year?

Respect.

UPDATE: Edited to include Sus's snazzy photos.

posted by ADD @ 07:30