Thursday, May 06, 2004

Unholy Lust

Australian Football players are H.O.T.T. I start with this unequivocal statement because I don't believe in beating around the bush, and I'm so overwhelmed by their physicality that I don't know anything for it but to speak in the plainest terms. Professional athletes are usually beautiful specimens of humanity (with the exception of scary-ass 'roids pumpers like former East German female swimmers or little gymnastic mutants) so I'm sure that we all have our opinions on the perfect body and the perfect human sporting engine. In my humble opinion, vying closely with but slighty edging out rowers, are these guys. Footy players. I've spent the better part of the afternoon reading up on the sport (there's been a lot of controversy Down Under lately due to sexual assault allegations--they're oh so USA that way) that is to Oz what cricket is to India, what soccer is to the UK, what helmet-and-pads football is to us in America. They love it, and when you take a gander at these boys, you can see why. My god...the thighs! You can keep your winning smiles (most of them have lost a few teeth) and your coy glances (lots of black eyes). Give me? THE THIGHS. PS--Lawrence Dallaglio is delish.


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