Saturday, July 31, 2004

3 for 4

Gorgeous weather, super-productive w/ the errands, terrible run, blue moon tonight. Not bad for a Saturday.

Plus: Lost sheep to shepherd.

Friday, July 30, 2004

Can'twaitcan'twaitcan'twait

Training camp starts Sunday. First game is September 12th. I'm cautiously optimistic. And?

I CANNOT WAIT FOR FOOTBALL SEASON TO START.

PER BILL'S REQUEST:
 
Yuuuuum.

What a wonderful thing to get national press coverage for

The only thing this altercation is missing is use of the word "cracker."

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Mole-asses
 
From an email I sent to Kristin not too long ago:

"How, HOW can it only be 11:15?!?!  This day is draaaaging and I am so cranky and unmotivated and all I want to do is watch movies and eat which will only produce a greater funk unlike any funk the world has ever known before parliament funkadelic." 

I know, it's very Ann Coulter-ish to quote myself (shudder) but I reminisce on those lines simply to illustrate that in the 2 hours since writing them, my mood?  She hath not changed.  Plus I have random stains on my shirt that look like I couldn't be bothered to use napkins, or, oh, MY HANDS the last time I ate. 

So, I'm going out to sit in the sun at lunch.  The vitamin D and the cookie the size of my face that I will be buying from Firehook should soothe me.  Briefly.

Kristin!  Aren't you watching this?
 
I can't believe the K-Digg has let a reality show slip past her radar.  What is this world coming to?

Who among us hasn't wanted to pepper spray a cell phone talker in the theater?
 
Really?  It *is* just me?!  Well, anyway...  Here you go.

My favorite line:

When Tolson came at Douglas with a clenched fist, the officer wrote, he used his pepper spray. "Then (Harris) said she was going to "hit this cracker upside his head', and she swung her drink at my head."
 
There can never be too much use of the term "cracker" imo.  Just sayin'.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

It's Lisa

Check it.

Cojones

The bank a block from my office was just robbed, for the second time in 2 months.  I'm astonished at the moxy it takes to knock off a Sun Trust (not some local bank and trust, mind you) on Dupont Circle at lunch hour on a weekday.  Either the thieves are "Point Break" smart or "Happy, Texas" stupid.  Wait...I mixed those up.   Crap....

DC morning checklist

RED LINE delayed: check

ORANGE LINE station shut downs: check
 
Thank you, DC metro, for your consistency and reliable suck-assity.  Between red line snafus (act of God, flooding, I know, beyond their control, blah blah) and the smoke that engulfed Farragut West about 3 trains before mine forcing a shut down of the station, it was quite the hectic morning.  I had to walk from McPherson Square to Dupont Circle...11 blocks or so...amidst other displaced commuters.  At least I got see some new pandas.  Silver lining...silver lining....

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Things I like

Well this list is longer than can be adequately summarized here, but while walking back from the post office just now I saw 2 things from the list that brightened my day:

1. A cop giving someone a speeding ticket.  God, I love watching other people get busted.

2. A fella in a tone-on-tone ensemble.  I just really like it when guys wear a shirt and tie of the same color but different tones.  Ex: pale purple dress shirt, dark purple tie.  Pink/pink and blue/blue are also high on the list; pastel shirts get me every time.  It takes a strong man to wear pastels.

How the other (hopefully less than) 50% live

I'm always so intrigued whenever I stumble across anything that takes me out of my Democrat/liberal cocoon and reminds me that there's a whole lotta 'Merika out there that does not see things the way I do.  Time with my family always serves this function (the email forwards I get...ohmygah) as does time home in Harrisonburg or in Tidewater.  This morning it was a report on NPR's Morning Edition that featured residents of a small Ohio steel town.  The segment focuses on how the area has been hit by economic woes and the effect this is having on voters--"swing" votes, etc.  Many of the MEN interviewed (I guess they don't let their women-folk talk in that there town) spoke of liking Bush's stance on terror, steel tariffs, "the gays" (steam came out of my ears), being pro-life, etc.  In essence, all things opposite from my viewpoints.  These moments are honestly like anthropological snapshots for me...I feel like the scientist observing a population silently from the shadows, utterly flabbergasted at their mores and trying to figure out why the hell they do what it is that they're doing.  Kinda like when Kristin and I were killing time watching CMT this weekend and the Montgomery Gentry video for "You Do Your Thing" (audio snippet) came on.  It features Montgomery, clad all in black, singing somberly against revolving patriotic images while Gentry makes his way through "the big city" in an SUV WITH A DEAD DEER DRAPED ACROSS THE HOOD, stopping to do things like ogle a hot trophy blond selling herself to businessmen in exchange for creature comforts or taking a baseball bat out of his car to exact vigilante justice on a corner drug dealer.  In front of his 2 kids in the car.  No, I'm not kidding.  We were stunned, wondering who is their demographic?!????!  But then I listened to NPR and knew exactly who they were after, and who they apparently speak to with some effectiveness.  Holy moly.

Monday, July 26, 2004

Brush-a, brush-a, bruuuush-a...
 
Steve was handed one of these by the metro this morning and thoughtfully gave it to me to try out.  It worked about as well as you'd expect, but no better than a piece of Eclipse or a mint.    I suppose it'd be good in a pinch, and appeals to our gimmicky-nation selves, but not something I'm going to run out and spend my hard-earned beer money on.

Desiree Sullivan?
 
Yep.  I'm late on the Wedding Weekend Recap bandwagon, so that's the best I can do.  I am in a serious mental muddle as the activities of Friday and Saturday nights catch up with me.  I keep thinking I'll be with-it enough to give a witty, meaty post but the later it gets in the day the more I realize, nope, that ain't happenin'.  So you take what you can get.

First, the weekend was SO fun.  Not a moment of it was ill-spent and my only complaint is that it passed too quickly.  Second, everyone looked amazing.  We have turned into some FINE looking adults who clean up very well.  Kristin will be posting pictures soon (and yes, there was a bachelorette party repeat and I am in far too many pictures, but so are other people so hush).  Third, there were some major rockstars among the guests like Christie and her husband Stefan who drove all the way down from Connecticut on Saturday and turned around and drove right back on Sunday.  Grace did the same from NYC.  Many people hadn't been back in town/on campus since we graduated in 1998 and the nostalgia and pretty much pure joy made for a very special night.  Fourth, the wedding, clothing, details, orchestration, and atmosphere were flawless.  The whole thing seemed to come off without a hitch, the bride and groom were radiant and in the moment and also good-naturedly kept up with all the sorry drunk bastards who turned out to drink from the open bar.  Fifth, I did not get to talk to everyone I had hoped to, having to content myself instead with quick but heartfelt "Hello!"s to the likes of Clarence and Jonathan, Zack and Jenny, James and Nathalie, Ben and Christine and Rees and Katie.  It's the double-edged sword of a friend-packed event like this: so many excellent people, so little time to chat.  Sixth, the Martins make the best knock-you-on-your-ayse punch this side of the Mississippi.  Damn shame about them being Yankees though.  Seventh and finally, our swing through Richmond for lunch with BGW was exactly the capstone needed for the weekend.  Too bad it took us another 3 hours to get home though.  Why do drivers lose they minds when it rains?

Good times...good times....

"I told her my name is Big Watermelon"

From Steve (via the National Journal):


CLINTON: Lost In Translation
Ex-Pres. Clinton "may be a famously promiscuous consumer of political ideas, but until the publication of his autobiography in China this week little was known about his apparent interest in the musings of Mao Zedong." In the Mandarin version of "My Life," Clinton "extols the wisdom of the Chairman, repeatedly quotes his most famous sayings and enthusiastically recounts a childhood conversation with an unnamed uncle about the mysteries of the Maoist Middle Kingdom." Clinton "also recalls telling his wife to 'shut up' and says that his affair with Monica Lewinsky 'did not affect' their marriage." Clinton, on Lewinsky: "She was very fat. I can never trust my own judgment."
Clinton, "it appears, is the latest victim of Chinese publishing pirates, who counterfeit entire books and rewrite the contents." Acting on employer orders, translators "regularly add invented content to make foreign books more appealing."
The paperback issued in Clinton's name "and with his photo on the cover includes sizeable amounts of 'new' material, while managing to be half the length of the original." Readers "may be surprised" by Clinton's "knowledge of China, from the very first sentence": "The town of Hope, where I was born, has very good feng shui." Clinton "quotes Chairman Mao throughout": "I very much appreciated the famous sentence of Mao Zedong, 'You want to know the taste of the pear, then you have to eat it yourself.'"
The book "purports to be published by the Yili Publishing House." But said a spokesperson: "The real version will be published in September."
One other tidbit from the book: Clinton, on meeting Hillary as a student: "She was as beautiful as a princess. I told her my name is Big Watermelon"

 
Sorry if that's old news to anyone.  I'm off to a slow start after a lovely, long, libation-filled weekend.  More on that soon.

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Dear Hotmail,
 
Why dost thou sucketh?
 
Love,
Anne
 
For some reason Hotmail isn't working today...for instance delivering an email 3 hours late just now, and others apparently not delivering at all.  So if I'm not writing to you, it's not the usual case of me just ignoring you.  I'm not getting your mail in the first place, so bear with me.

We're goin' streakin'!!
 
Who says getting older can't be fun?  (link via Obscure Store)

Africa hot

This is the forecast for Des and Bry's wedding in Williamsburg on Saturday.  That's not a typo; 80% humidity during the day and a whopping 90% at night.  They should have just planned to have it at a water park and been done with things.

Don't get me wrong--I am as excited as almighty f**k for this weekend, and this wedding, and all the partying and shenanigans that will ensue.  It promises to be a frolic for the ages.  Really, we all should be pissed at our 17 year-old selves who thought, Yes, it IS a wise choice to attend a school located ON A SWAMP. 

I might have to foresake my 100% silk dress for an internally-cooled self-contained space suit.  I'm Irish, for the love of Mike!  White, sweaty, and frizzed could just maybe ruin the wedding!  Unless I'm drunk in which case no one (including me) will care.  Yeah...that's the stratEEgery right there.  Beer makes it better.


Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Kristin, this is for you: (courtesy IMDB)

"Dunst Dumps Gyllenhaal


Hollywood beauty Kirsten Dunst has dumped her movie hunk boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal, blaming "filming commitments". Spider-Man 2 actress Dunst and The Day After Tomorrow actor Gyllenhaal had been an item for two years before the surprise split two weeks ago. Since they began dating both Dunst and Gyllenhaal have become internationally famous, and Dunst's role in the Spider-Man movies has made her one of the most recognizable actresses in the world. An insider says, "Kirsten and Jake had been spending a lot of time apart because they both had filming commitments. But Jake was totally besotted with her and is devastated that she has broken up with him. Kirsten's career has sky rocketed. She's one of the hottest young actresses in Hollywood right now. She felt her relationship with Jake was emotionally draining and she couldn't cope with it on top of her work. It's very sad for Jake. He is really heartbroken."

Call him up and console him.  ;)

No comment.

Why does every damn thing happen when you're in a damn hurry?

It was a rough ride for your ADD this morning, kids.  First, blurry from fatigue and having stayed up too late watching TAR (sniff! Poor Helo Dad and daughter) I fumbled through getting ready, dropping just about every thing I attempted to grasp or hold for more than 5 seconds.  Shampoo, makeup, clothing, utensils...you name it.  Me hands no worky.

Then, in what in some ways I see as a bit of comeuppance to tourists, I had a major hassle on the metro.  I needed to add money to my SmarTrip card (and stupidly left that chore for a morning ride.  So foolish.  I should have done it last night on my way home when I wasn't in any hurry, but no.  I didn't.  EFF.).  I had totally planned ahead, had my $10 bill in hand, as well as my ST card, but for some reason the machine wouldn't accept the $10.  So, excellent commuter skills that I have, I *stepped out of line* to put away my cash and get my debit card, and got at the back of the line to start again.  See?  How considerate am I?! 

The tourist (who was umbilically attached to a MASSIVE group of teenagers--insert eye roll) who was standing behind me stepped up and painstakingly added her cash and coins to the machine to get a fare card.  Here's where it got dicey.  Apparently, despite my telling the machine to cancel my transaction, IT DIDN'T.  So the $3.45 that she put on in $1s, quarters, and dimes all went onto MY card.  Gee, thanks Lady!  Bye!  (No, not really, but how hilarious if I had, no?) 

Anyway, from the back of the line I realize what has happened and totally step up and explain it to her, offering to give her $3.45.  BUT ALL I HAD WAS THE FUCKING $10.  No change.  And she didn't have any either.  And the metro station attendant doesn't do change.  And her group was *calling* to her, egging her on, "Come ON Julie!" so she wasn't real inclined to solicit change from them, either.  She was clearly exasperated, and I felt so badly (even though I hadn't done anything wrong).  I offered to go upstairs with her to the Starbucks by the station and get change there, but the crowd in the coliseum was getting restless and any minute was going to give Julie the "DIE" thumbs down, so she just nabbed a low-fare card someone else in her group had and used that to at least get started on her trip.  I then retreated to the SmarTrip machine, finished my transaction, and then hid until I was sure J and her group had left on another train.  That's right I HID.  I didn't want any dirty looks on the platform.  School groups can get ugly in a New York Minute my friends.  And my hands don't work so I didn't feel it was the right time to rumble.

I do feel so badly about what happened, and her losing that money.  But I have had tourists do so many ass-stupid things--to me and others in my company--in my years riding the metro that I feel there is some measure of justice here.  Julie and I were just standing in for the two groups writ small...she, The Tourist.  I, The Commuter.  Someday Clarence will write a play about it and all its classical Greek tragedy implications.  That'll be such a great show. 


Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Lord HELP me
 
One of the best things about my office is how comfortable the atmosphere is amongst my coworkers and me.  Very congenial, laid back.  Not unprofessional, but not artifical or tight-assed either.  I can play Yahoo! radio (ever on the lookout for the next great Alabama Thunderpussy song), talk mild smack to my office mate, and in general be me as I coax myself through each day.  But (you knew there was a "but") sometimes I forget myself eeeever so slightly.
 
Take for instance, just now.  A coworker(1) came in to arrange a mini-meeting with my officemate (2), who happened to be in the middle of a task.  So 2 asked 1 if he could have "a couple minutes...maybe 2 minutes."  Which I took as my cue to bust out:
 
JUST GIMME 3 1/2 MINUTES!!  MAYBE EVEN 'FO!
 
Oh.  holy.  God.  Pretty soon I'm going to be asking my boss about the chronic and if I can borrow her VCR right quick.  Shiiiiiit.




Monday, July 19, 2004

15 knots and full speed ahead
 
I stumbled across a really interesting show on The Discovery Channel yesterday called Mythbusters.  They routinely go about debunking/proving common urban legends like whether you can really set yourself on fire while pumping gas and talking on a cell phone.  Cool premise, odd hosts.  Good show in general.
 
Yesterday they were going after the notion that a shell of 8 rowers (the classic racing configuration) can pull a water skier behind a boat!  How happy was I??  [Answer: excessively].  The hosts took water skiing lessons and then trussed up a tow-rig onto a Stanford University varsity 8.  The dodgy part was that the minimum speed for sustainable skiing is about 20 knots, and a prime-time rowing crew at max power approaches 15-17 knots...so you're flirting with "Can they do it?" Gasp!  On tenterhooks, aren't you?
 
I won't force you to watch the show yourself...the suspense might kill you.  Bottomline, the SU8 had NO problem cranking up to a velocity to carry Jaime (host) quite a ways along.  Please don't ask me to recreate it all.  I don't want to embarrass Stanford.
 
AS.
IF.


Sunday, July 18, 2004

Riddle me this
 
Why is it so much easier to run at the gym than it is out on the street?  I went to the Y today and ran a personal best and felt like I could go on forever.  Nothing about me is different between inside and out--same gear, same shoes, same routine, same music.  I understand that the treadmill forces me to keep a steady pace (very important b/c on the road Fluke's "Zion" or Van Halen's "Humans Being" make me think I have powers I don't and I speed the hell up), and I'm not stopping and starting for traffic or stupid tourists, but c'mon.  Those can't be THAT big of factors.  I even program pace and incline changes into the machine to compensate.  So what is the magic ingredient??
 
*Almost* as interesting was the total wackjob using the gym while I was there.  One of the things I love most about the Y is how egalitarian it is--you find far fewer gym rats who just come in to parade around in too little clothing while never actually working out (I refer to them as the "See and Be Seens").  But if you let everyone join (at a reasonable price) then you're gonna get quite the assortment of people.  Including the totally fucking off-their-rockers barmy ones.  This guy was about 45, shaggy-haired, running laps around the wee track, and seemingly harmless until he started yelling at some invisible perpetrator.  He aggressively instructed "the perp" to "GET AWAY FROM ME WITH THAT SICK SHIT!" and turned to and fro as though he was waiting for the offender to shiv him at any moment.  Then he stopped, paused for a second, and kept running.  Fitness first.


Friday, July 16, 2004

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WHITNEY!
 
She's younger than me, so I don't pay attention to the actual numbers, other than to mock how juvenile she is.  Except that she just bought a house.  And I live in a ghetto shack.  And she has a job that uses her Master's degree.   And I don't yet.  And...shit.  What was I saying?  Oh yeah....have a damn good birthday m'dear!!

Things observed on my ride in this morning....
 
1. A man with the MOST dreadful toupe ever.  A blind person could spot this rug a mile away.  You'd think someone who loved him would tell him, "Harold, you look ridiculous."  I volunteer to be that someone.
 
2. Two guys holding the overhead handrails *flexing* during the ride.  As in, over-gripping the rails in order to emphasize their biceps.   What was brilliant was that the turbo-gripping made them too inflexible to roll with jerks and fits of the train, and they fell onto other people as we took turns.  So that kinda blew their whole "too cool for school" thing.  Foolios.
 
3. Two different news crews filming random reports along 18th Street.  One of them was a British crew and I was *this* close to stopping, just so I could get the guy to say "crikey," "barmy," and "sod off."
 
4. The most precious old couple EVER, walking hand-in-hand.  These 2 were easily 85+ years old, swathed in floppy hats and clothes too big for their wee pre-Depression-era-nutrition frames.  I wanted to fold them up and put them in my pocket.  Awww.
 
See?  Told you it was a slow day for me.

Rock!
 
Blogger has changed the way the composition page looks--less html and more like a Word document.  Way more user-friendly and it lets me do things like type in color and  these things and in effing huge font
 
This is totally not relevant or interesting to most of you but 1. I'm hard-up for commentary today and 2. I'm wowed by all things new and different and feel compelled to comment on them in the manner of a 7 year old.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Don't alienate the crucial 12-18 year old demographic

When I got to my sister's last weekend, I spied in the magazine bin a copy of the "Entertainment Weekly" with Michael Moore on the cover. But what caught my eye was how someone had taken a red magic marker and drawn a huge "NO" circle across his face...you know, the circle with the line through it, popular on "Ghostbusters" artwork and poison control labels. I was a little thrown, and asked my sister about it. I mean, I know she and her husband are pretty consistently conservative, but I didn't think they were vandals. Turns out, my teenage nieces did it! Each week they wait with bated breath to see who will grace the cover of EW (as it's often Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp, or similar) and when, after all that pent up time spent waiting to ogle a hearthrob they got MM, they lashed out. I don't want to think about what they'd do if I laid hands on any of Shelby's Led Zeppelin CDs...the horror!

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

As I stand here today lookin at all of you, on this, your first day of university - I fink of all de fings me can offer you - wisdom, experience but most importantly of all 22 ounces of de finest Morrocan chronic

W&M is better because we had Jon Stewart, but this is still pretty damn cool.

Welcome home, Kristin!!!

If she was trying to be covert about it, all bets are off b/c of Town Crier Doss over here, but I'm so thrilled to have her home in time for Bastille Day, I can't tell you.

Another sign its going to be a great day: a morning email with the subject line "Good fun in the barn....adult oriented". Well, duh. Of course ANY good fun in the barn is CLEARLY adult oriented. As it should be.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

I need a scrolling marquee on my car

If you've ever driven with me, you've heard my theory/desire for a scrolling marquee (like a stock-ticker) to wrap around my car so that I can display to the other drivers in question my rants or raves re: their technique. Usually, to be honest, it's a rant, but I also would love to salute those rare individuals who take their heads OUT of their asses before beginning to drive.

For instance, on Saturday when it took me FIVE HOURS to drive to Virginia Beach, when it normally takes me less than 3 hours. I got behind every vacationing/Maryland/huge cap on the truck/SUV/on the cell phone/going 55 in the left lane/cutting me off and then doing a slow pass/I've never been here but find that not a good enough reason to look at a map and figure it out ahead of time/just plain TOO STUPID TO LIVE motherf**ker who took to the roads. I was positively seething by the time I sat for HALF AN HOUR waiting to get through the Hampton Roads Tunnel, to the point where I text-messaged a buddy whose a fellow auto-phile and excellent driver saying something to the effect of "I would shoot every last person on the road right now if I had a gun." In retrospect the vehemence of the violent thought shames me a bit but I am firm in my conviction that we issue drivers licenses with far too much abandon. You don't have to drive fast; I understand that isn't for everyone. Just PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF HOLY CHRIST drive **SMART**. Efficiently. With some small thought for the others on the road. Or I WILL CUT YOU.

Fortunately after all that I had 2 1/2 days of doing absolutely nothing besides lounging by my sister's pool to help me calm down. That and many beers. I heart beer. But you knew that already.

The smokers in my life are going to ream me, but...

How sad is it when a smoker gets to the point where they can't even wait to finish the escalator ride out of the metro station before they light up? I have seen so many people where, as soon as they hit that first step, they light up. NOT "they dig in their bag and fish out the cigarette and the lighter and so aren't sucking that first drag until the time they are well and truly up and out of the station". I mean they have that shit IN HAND READY TO GO for when they hit the first hint of fresh air and can spoil and fill it with tobacco and tar. God damn, y'all. Time to get Nicorette patch-tastic.

Friday, July 09, 2004

God doesn't love crazy

I cribbed this link off of dooce, showed it Steve, and was subsequently informed that I JUST HAD to share it with everyone. I found it hilarious more than anything else, but it is also staggering to realize how entrenched some people are in self-righteous "I'm right and you're wrong and YOU ARE GOING TO BURN FOR IT" dogma. A favorite excerpt:

Who do you know who isn't saved? Your mother? Brother? Father? Friend? The bible says that when they die, if they're found guilty on the day of judgment without the savior, God will give them justice, and they will spend eternity in Hell.

Please don't let your loved ones go to Hell without trying to rescue them.


Well, I don't know about you, but right now SpiderMan is my personal savior, so I'm all set. But thanks for asking.

Thursday, July 08, 2004

They joke, but...

Ah, dear Onion. Dangerously close to the COMPLETE TRUTH.

Blame Canada

Well, French Canada anyway. Seriously. Talk about a double whammy on the no-respect-from-an-American scale. (link provided by the inimitable Vroom Vroom.)

I wanna be a quick change artist, too!

I would never go so far as the say the DC metro is world-renowned for its efficiency, but most of the time it gets me where I want to be when I need to be there, and it's (relatively) clean and safe. Logical, however? Notsomuch. This morning on the Orange line, as we pulled into Foggy Bottom (on a portion of the Orange Line run that shares tracks and stops with the Blue line) the conductress came on the loudspeaker to inform us that we were spontaneously changing from an Orange Line train to a Blue line one, now terminus-bound for Addison Road. Wtf mate? It didn't have any effect on my commute, thankfully, but who makes command decisions like that? Just all part of metro-DC's "run it like a 3rd world country" mentality.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

TAR5 did not disappoint in its season premiere last night. Phil was scrumtrellescent, the locales diverse (how macabre but cool as hell was that hand?!), and the rules a bit changed. I'll be interested to see how the "yield" function turns out--its the first time that being able to screw another team has been written in as a function of the game and not just as a potential tactic self-imposed by a ruthless opponent. The flip-flopping of "bunching" was also a welcome twist. There was tripping, emergency rooms, scumbags, massive ignoring of basic TAR game play by not one but TWO teams, and several unfortunate uses of the word "midget." And an Apache in the opening credits!! My early faves are the geriatric couple, the helo dad and daughter, and the married couple from Cali. Not so much loving the multiple "dating-ish" pretty plastic couples or those obnoxious brothers. You're no Drew and Kevin!!

Blogger is being a big steaming pile of dog doo

Since yesterday I've been having trouble viewing Blogger blogs (including my own) and have had posts eaten only to find them later published FIVE TIMES unbeknownst to me. So if things look a bit wonky, just know that it isn't me and I'll fix it when I can.

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

"I'm going to the show."

Too cool...the DNC is offering full-on press credentials to a handful of bloggers to cover the goings-on in Boston. James, tell the truth--You're on the short list, aren't you?

THE AMAZING RACE SEASON 5 PREMIERES TONIGHT!!!!!!!

It's back. The best show on television, reality or otherwise. Although Kristin is in China and unable to usher in the new season with me, I'm taping for her--fie on you, internet spoilers!--and in general just SO PSYCHED the Phil and the gang are back. You have lots of rants and raves relative to the show to look forward to. Lucky you.

My quest to prove it is physically not possible to watch too many movies

It was a long, relaxed, uneventful holiday weekend. I marked the time by watching a veritable shiteload of movies. In no particular order:

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
Muriel's Wedding
Spiderman
Spiderman 2
The Royal Tenenbaums
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Sleepy Hollow
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Die Another Day
Signs


The On Demand is a fickle mistress, and I'd been away too long. I give big thumbs up to SM2, despite the fact that Kirsten "All Cheeks, No Talent" Dunst is in it. I don't go to movies in the theater all that often and this was totally the weekend to settle back into the dark coolness of it all with a cold C2 (delish!!!) and some Milk Duds. Mmmm...DUDS. Now I'm hungry.

Friday, July 02, 2004

Awww, I live for the shout out!

Many thanks to Bill who deigned to acknowledge my existence on his far superior site of internet faux-snobbery. Although I have to say, why no comment field, Bill? You afraid of what the internet may throw at you? Or do you just not want to sift through what people looking for "feel" have to say? Bill asserts that one may be "amused" by what is found here on BlogSport. I'm confident that he meant that as a compliment, but I did have a moment where I thought, "Does he mean that in a watching-a-kid-bash-their-head-repeatedly-into-something-and-thinking-that's-hilarious-but-CHRIST-that-kid-is-dumb way?" Time will tell.

Anyhoo, he, and John, have had much to say about my comment regarding Alabama Thunderpussy. I still stick by my original knee-jerk reaction that that is, at best, a questionable band name. They are not, in fact, 19, BUT I was totally right in my characterization of them as having a certain "we thought this up in a basement" quality. It's not my type of music, which isn't to say that it isn't good music. So more power to them in their Virginia-based quest to rock as hard as rockingly rocker possible.

But if you expect me to go to a show you better liquor me up right good beforehand.

Ode to Interns

Des clued me into this posting from Craig's List. Not only is it, generally, brilliant, it is dead on. Nothing is worse than riding the metro with those posturing, barely-pubescent EFFING effers. I wanna push their skinny blonde pastel-clad selves down and give them a resounding Southern ass-whooping. And that's just the boys.

Semantics

My mom emailed me something on "How to speak about men and women and be politically correct. I know, a dreaded forward--but some of these tickled me:


WOMEN--

3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

7. She does not get TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

MEN--

2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS

7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

SpaceShipOne

Pix and info on Burt Rutan's entrant for the X Prize.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Eat your heart out, Buck Rogers

Look at this thing. More concept drawings here. So far I can't find any specs (hp, torque, 0-60, etc.) and I'm always a little leery of the pimping of one's products for movie purposes, but, c'mon....IT'S AUDI.